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On what basis do we make choices in regards to ourselves alone, independently of others? What is the true path to personal fulfilment, happiness, or whatever? |
These are preliminary thoughts, not well organised yet.
6.2 Conclusions on Personal
Integration (Statement
31)
● We need to attend to our daily physical and emotional needs, to live, to find food and water, shelter, clothing, seek medical and legal help when required, consistently with behaving well, with regard to ourselves, as we grow, learn, deal with our mortality, and when nothing can be done, accept our fate (inshallah).
● Obesity is becoming a major global health problem for the
affluent, not just in “the West” but in the rising middle classes in developing
countries. It is fixed by regular
exercise and eating properly. Regular
exercise is about 1 hour at least 3 times a week. Eating properly means a balanced diet, where
possible including fruit and vegetables, low in fat and low in sugar, and with
no more than about 300 grams of red meat per week. To lose weight you must eat less: you will
feel
● Recreational drug use has been a problem since the dawn of history – even chimpanzees like to get intoxicated on fermenting fruit – but the problem may be getting worse as societies become more affluent. The biggest problem by far is cigarette smoking and the second biggest problem is alcohol. Other drugs such as marijuana, LSD, opium, cocaine, heroin, speed and ecstasy are less significant. Everyone who smokes should give up immediately. Virtually all (legal) action taken to reduce cigarette smoking is justified. It is best not to drink any alcohol, but if you do, it is best to have at least 3 days a week without it, and avoid excess. Other recreational drugs may be OK in moderation but many can become psychologically or physically addictive: some people get hooked, consume too much and destroy their lives. It would be more effective if these were treated as public health (or medical) issues rather than criminal matters.
● We need to learn what is possible and what is not, based on science and history, accept our physical and animal natures, accept our natural compassion (and those who have little compassion must decide whether to behave as if they do), and learn how to integrate all aspects of ourselves, particularly desires to be different, creative, loving where these don’t impinge on others.
● Plans must be based on reality – for a career, hobbies, projects, marriages, children etc. Too many people seem to live in a fantasy world. We must recognise our personal strengths and shortcomings. Success does not just come from an act of will (as many American movies would have you believe). A strong will may help you obtain the knowledge and learn the skills required. But if you don’t have the inherent capability then you should try for another role.
● In
reality, there often seem to be not many times in our lives when we can make one-off
choices that make a big difference. We
can at best choose to follow up a desirable direction, or perhaps the least
worst path, when the opportunity arises.
Most of our hard decisions, to control our weight, to pursue our career,
to maintain our cool, to be good, have to be repeated second by second until
they become second nature.
● We
choose the path of authenticity, explore the truth, follow the compassionate
path.
● We
can be reasonable and still have spiritual or mystical experiences, without
invoking anything supernatural or transcendent.
Many of us will benefit from mediation.
We can commune with nature. We can commune with other people in group
settings or one to one. We need rites of
passage – for birth, maturity, marriage, death, etc. Spiritual practices – where the spirit is the
naturalist thing that thinks or acts, not a supernatural being – can help to
satisfy the need to commune with inexpressible , the absolute, the All, which
is beyond word, the “oceanic feeling” (as Freud called it) that we can get
looking at the stars. more (later)
We all hope that we will lead happy and fulfilled lives. We often don’t.
We can work out a set of guidelines for facing the world as individuals, based on the philosophical stance we have taken, our understanding of science and history, and whatever insights and role models we can take from religion, art and culture. The values we explicitly adopt impact on these guidelines. Here is an initial draft to indicate the general nature of guidelines we could develop in this context.
We live from moment to moment, as neuroscience (and the existentialists) explain. We can use science to explain the choices that other people make, but as soon as we are aware of the explanation we change the antecedent conditions and the choices we make may differ.
Those choices that can be fully explained by science seem inevitable and can’t involve any personal responsibility. All other choices reflect our “attitudes” and define our “character”.
Our actions, our personalities, are integrated and authentic when they don’t conflict with each other or with reality, our experience, knowledge and feelings.
Suffering, in others and in ourselves, arises as a result of uncontrollable circumstances and our choices as we react to our circumstances. Suffering can be caused by:
fear, desperation, stupidity, ignorance,
thoughtlessness, insanity or selfishness.
Our reaction to these, the choices we make, should be characterised by:
empowerment, equity, support, education,
self control and
discipline, medical help and forgiveness.
Both mental and physical well being require us to be involved in life, in a vocation, work or hobbies, and for the vast majority of us, in personal relationships.
We are generally driven to live, to find food and water, shelter, clothing, to seek medical help when required, to connect with others and to obtain sexual satisfaction. We must learn to live with our selfish, physical, animal natures, but also to accept our inherent compassion (and those with little compassion must decide whether to act as if they have more).
Our physical well being requires that we maintain physical fitness, eat a balanced diet and exercise regularly, so that we are neither under nor overweight, and avoid excessive use of harmful recreational drugs and other excessively risky behaviour.
Our mental well being requires that we become aware of our feelings and attend to our emotional needs, learning the skills and behaviours that are required to do this, and that we continue to learn from our experience and adapt our understanding to align with reality.
We need to learn what is possible and what is not, based on science and history. We have to learn to deal with our mortality, and when nothing can be done, accept our fate (inshallah).
All of us some of the time, and some of us most of the time, are unrealistic in our expectations and understandings of how the world works and how we work in it. To be more effective, happier and more fulfilled we need to use philosophy, science, history, religion and art to become more aware of ourselves and what affects us, our personal strengths and shortcomings. The plans we make – for relationships, a career, hobbies, projects, marriages, children and so on – will be more effective if they are based on reality.
Success does not just come from an act of will (as many American movies would have us believe). A strong will may help us to obtain the knowledge and learn the skills required, but if we don’t have the inherent capability then we should try for another goal.
Many of the ongoing choices we make are trivial and inconsequential. We need to be fully aware of the consequences every time we face choices with potentially damaging outcomes, for instance when we might overindulge in food or drugs, or act selfishly.
Occasionally we face choices that may have an immense impact on our lives, for instance when we choose between a life of crime or of honour, or we choose to actively pursue some education or a particular vocation, or be involved with some people and not others.